Torturing your inner
car person one post at a time
Let’s be presumptuous and assume you’ve heard of the game
“kill, marry, FXX K." If you haven’t the rules are pretty simple. You take
three people and decide who you marry, murder, and have a good time with.
Simple enough, right? Let's flip this idea and apply it to cars. Maybe the idea
of crushing a beloved car might strike a nerve. But being the sadistic people
that we are, we hereby present you with three cars and the following choices:
crush, race, and own. Choose wisely and let us know your picks in the comments!
The three cars in question make up the "Holy
Trinity:" the McLaren P1, Ferrari LaFerrari, and Porsche 918 Spyder. The
game works as follows: You can keep one car to own forever as yours (marry) one
car to spank around a race track of your choice (hanky-panky) and finally one
car must die by the crusher (kill). Each car is the pinnacle of its
manufacturer's engineering and design might, so these aren't choices to be made
lightly. So now we present to you our selection for Crush, Race, Own. But first
(let me take a selfie), a description and argument for and against each.
As any Porsche motorsport historian will tell you, the 918
Spyder's name sucks. Sorry not sorry, but being one who kneels at the alter of
Porsche 917 this by no means is a worthy successor to the endurance and Can
Am-dominating monsters of old. The nomenclature is better suited to Porsche’s
WEC and Le Mans winning 919 which subsequently stays more in line with the
names heritage. Of the “Holy Trinity” the 918 is the fastest in terms of real
world performance. The hybrid AWD system puts power down with great ease.
After witnessing many comparison tests it would also seem the
918 is fastest on track, give or take. It outperforms the LaFerrari on track
and bests the McLaren P1 on its standard tires, not the optional Trofeo R
tires. The 918 is also the most technologically advanced of the three,
seamlessly entwining the use of electric motors and internal combustion
ferocity. The 918 is the forefather of future Porsche Performance models, just
as the 959 before it laid the ground work for future 911 Turbos.
The P1 had the largest boots to fill of any car ever before;
did it succeed? Well, one foot's in, the other isn’t. The McLaren F1 is
considered by many to be the greatest car of all time, and it's easy to see
why. The Gordon Murray design still looks modern to this day, even on a
two-decade old car. The performance is on par with most of today's top-tier
supercars and the level of earth-shattering innovation that the F1 debuted with
is still mind-boggling to say the least. The F1 GTR defeated prototypes at Le
Mans then routed all competition into feeling unequivocally inferior. So does
the P1 live up to that? Eh…no… The P1 may be a landmark in design but is only
on par with its daddy. Sorry, the boots are only halfway full.
The P1 is a different car entirely however, of the three the
P1 is the most aerodynamically advanced and the outright fastest on the Trofeo
R tires. It set forth to prove that a hypercar can be driven like hell yet
livable on a daily basis. Its on-track characteristics seem to perpetually
bring glee to drivers.
The LaFerrari's name is stupid. We all think that. What was
wrong with calling it the F70? Okay, just had to get that out there. The
twelve-cylinder bias out of the way, the LaFerrari has the best engine. The RS
Spyder derived 4.6-liter V8 in the 918 and the twin-turbo 3.8-liter V8 in the
P1 fall short of the majesty that is a 6.3-liter 9000 rpm screamer. On paper
the LaFerrari should by default be the fastest but it seemingly is outperformed
by the other two. Granted it’s a margin so slim that it is relatively an
argument that should remain mute.
So now the really hard part, the decision of which cars live
and die?
The “Holy Trinity” might be the first cars to never go down
in value. Prices for the 918 continue to skyrocket and its near impossible to
expect depreciation on either the P1 or LaFerrari. All of these cars are
masterpieces done in a unique way. So that leaves us with our first choice:
race. To race: The answer is definitively the LaFerrari. Blasting around a road
course in a mid-engine twelve-cylinder Ferrari is what dreams are made of. The
driving characteristics and playful nature are what make the LaFerrari so
enticing. So now with only two choices left the answer is going to be painful
but here it is.
Crush: 918 Spyder. Your writer is a Porschephile, so trust
that this was an incredibly difficult choice but the decision must remain. The
918 is perfect in almost every way. It is aesthetically the most pleasing and
in some regards it's the fastest, but it leaves a bit of wanting. Visually it
simply looks tame next to the LaFerrari and P1. That is not to say this contest
was won and lost by styling alone; the 918 also falls short as there is not the
driving lust factor. The electronics seem like nanny states. Yes the rear end
can whip around and be playful but so to can the others and with less weight
hampering over handling.
The 918 is a masterpiece of technology but that does not
always translate to pure enjoyment when driving. So ownership would then fall
to the P1, by definition a hypercar in every sense of the word. Add to the
equation its livability and the P1 comes out as the overall victor. We know
this is a tough choice for all. Masochistic for those who partake. Did we get
it right or utterly wrong? Also, what cars do you want to see featured in this
series next? Let us know in the comments!
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